-When did you decided that selling your soul was okay? she said
I looked at her perplexed, frustrated we both knew what she was trying to say, but I would never admit this, I brushed it off and retaliated.
- what are you talking about? I never sold my soul!
I was lying. her piercing gaze never left mine. does she hate me? I thought. she made her way towards the closet, opened her suitcase and started packing.
the fear of losing her started creeping up on me, I panicked
-What are you doing!!?
she remained silent
-Honey don't be silly, where are you going to go? who are you going to stay with?
she didn't stop, the fear escalated
-girl please, you can't walk away from me.
that was the wrong thing to say.
she turned around and looked at me. it wasn't hate in her eyes, this was much worse. she was disappointed. she didn't speak but her eyes told me everything I needed to know. I was losing her and for good.
-You won't dare leave me! what money are you going to have? everything is in my name! you won't survive a day without me!!
I shouldn't have said that. she finished packing.
-This was the love my mother was warning me about,
-What did you say ?!
I yelled, hoping to get a reaction out of her. if she reacted it would be easier for me to convince her to stay. it's always easy to manipulate someone when they loses their cool.
-I rather walk out in the streets broke and start over again than to tolerate living with you. she said
my heart was pounding, she didn't react she was calm and poise. oh god what have I done, I thought.
- I mean how many times does someone need to feel rejected? how many times must you dehumanize me in public? You make me feel worthless. you want me by your side and you want me to do this and that and this and that but never once would you acknowledge publicly that we are together. and I am a gemini, don't you know I need the affection? oh and let's not forget when you go on tour, god knows what happens there.
She closed the suitcase.
- I used to tolerate your shit, because I thought I knew who you were. you are no longer the man I fell in love with.
By now her tears were slowly falling. my heart aches. I still love you I wanted to say, I wanted to rush over to her and hug her and tell her how sorry I was, I wanted to beg her to give me another chance, but my ego wouldn't let me.
I watched the love of my life walk away from me after 15 years of relationship. How did this happen? how did I let the world take away what I loved the most. I stood in the doorway speechless. we've broken up plenty of times before, but this one was different, I could tell. I could feel it. All I could do was pray that the lord watches over her.