THE SINGLE WOMAN MANIFESTO - Flipping the narrative.

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The single woman manifesto is a mini series of thoughts on: love, and dating for women of color in this world. We’ve gathered stories from real life experiences by both tribe members and friends, helpful books and documentary. -created by Chef Wilize

Flipping the narrative

In the stories I read or was told as a child, two things were always consistent: 1. The prince charming always showed up and 2. He always saved the princess. Save her from what? well that depends on the woman doesn’t it? some from their financial burdens, others from their daddy issues and the list goes on. One thing is for sure as I collected all these various stories for this mini blog series I realize that the truth is: NO ONE and I mean absolutely NO ONE can save you.

Now this may seem like a tangent but stay with me on this: during the Nipsey Hussle memorial Snoop said something that truly resonate with me and my way of life in general “Nipsey believed that nothing was going to be handed to him” that was the mantra he lived by ( according to his pears) and the reason why he was able to manifest so much in such a short amount of time. I personally think this mantra also applies to love. A partner is not going to save you from your personal demons, and if they do appear to fit that shoe : be mindful of the number one rule of life: Everything, has a price.

The reality is we are the angels we’ve been searching for; no one is here to save you, people may teach us lessons or allow us to get clarity on what we want but to “get saved” is way too much weight to put on a single person’s shoulder. We save ourselves when we start noticing the patterns; when we start asking questions like why are we attracting who we are attracting. For instance for the longest time I had a pattern of attracting people who were emotionally unavailable, it was a real issue for me. I would have very attractive men lay the world at my feet, yet still I didn’t want anything to do with them.It was much more appealing to chase those who were harder to get because of the false belief that I had learned over the years : that love was supposed to be complicated.

Fortunately, life has a way of waking us up from our patterns. In my #21waystoheal plan I called this the wake up call: when our mind is out of harmony with our soul; life forces us to notice. When my wake up call came, It wasn’t pretty but the pain of no longer wanting to feel unwanted forced me to pay attention to the patterns I created for myself. I had to ask myself why did I attract the partners that I attracted? what were my true beliefs on love, romance, intimacy and relationships? the answers to these questions are tools that we can use to help us feed the void that we keep searching in other people.

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