On Marriage: An interview with Ashley Renee Poet

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With divorce rates reaching its ultimate high, it’s hard to swallow the concept of marriage in our society. should marriage still be a relevant practice? This week on the blog we explore the different aspects of marriage what it means to some, and what it means to other. We also explore some alternative ways people have use or explore the concept of marriage in their lives. Today I chose to interview one of my closest friend on the topic, Ashley Renee poet, whose been in a relationship for over 10 years and tied the knot in 2017, to explore her view on the concept.

On marriage

Us: First, thank you so much for sharing with us!
Ashley: the honor is all mine.

Us: so first let’s start with the obvious question lol Who is Ashley Renee Poet ?    
Ashley: I am a poet, a writer, an empath. I am a caregiver. I’m a lover, an entertainer, a shy girl amongst extroverts and a leader among introverts. I am a loner who wants to be invited to the party but may not necessarily always want to go. I am a lion who dresses in sheep’s clothing but sheds her skin when provoked. I am a woman who is constantly learning and growing and rediscovering what it means to be me, but mostly, I’m just Ashley, Deloris and Maurice’s daughter.

Us: what does marriage mean to you?
Ashley:  Marriage to me means a partnership, a person that you may not always like, but you always love. Someone that you grow and learn with. Marriage is family, it's accepting that your spouse, just like yourself is not perfect and you are both on this roller coaster together to figure it out while making and breaking your own rules along the way.

Us: What does being a wife mean to you? 
Ashley: In all honesty, I am still learning what being a wife means to me. Growing up, the example of a wife that my mother showed me was out of this world, she was phenomenal and still is. I haven’t reached that level of wife life yet. For now what being a wife means to me is also something I am constantly growing into and setting my own rules for. I definitely believe a wife should be supportive, encouraging and love herself so fiercely she is able to freely give love to her husband.

 Us: How did you meet your husband? what sparked your interest in him and how long have you been together ? 
Ashley: I met Isaac in his basement, ha ha. When I was 19 I was applying for a songwriting competition at our local library, since I’m not a singer I put an ad out on craigslist for a singer and ended up receiving an email from a singer named Marcus East. Marcus was so confident and made me want to work with him. He let me know he had a music producer that could help us, so the same day I met Marcus he brought me to meet music producer, I-Will, who instantly caught my eye. I loved that Isaac seemed different from any guy I had met. He played the piano and had a shy nature to him which I thought was so appealing. We started working together on music, then hanging out and then dating and eventually got married. We’ve been together officially a little over 10 years now.

Us: What are some key factors that you think are important to keeping a long-term relationship? 
Ashley: Communication and friendship. Isaac and I are still learning things about each other and our love languages ten years later. We talk all the time and aside from being married partners we are also best friends. I think it’s imperative to have a friendship with the person you are involved with romantically. While there are tons of other things that are important in a marriage or relationship, ultimately looks will fade, sex won’t happen all the time and you’re going to want to actually like the person you are waking up to 50 years from now. Maintaining a friendship with my husband has allowed us to tell each other things that may be difficult or hurtful and help each other grow in so many ways

Us:  Do you think marriage is for everyone? 
Ashley: I think marriage can be for everyone as I believe there is someone out there for everyone. A traditional marriage might not be for everyone, my grandmother actually lived in a total different state from her husband but they would spend holidays and summers together, she was fiercely independent and loved her space and it worked for her and her husband. I think when people feel that marriage is not for them, it’s more so the person they are with or people they have been with in the past who didn’t fit with their lifestyle, which made them believe that no one would want what they wanted in marriage. There is literally, someone out there for everyone, so yes, I believe with the right person, marriage can be for everyone. 

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